Hannah’s Daily Note

Whether you were raised as a Muslim or you’re a revert, you might have experienced the feeling that in order to be a ‘good’ Muslim, you must allow anyone and everyone to have a claim on your time and energy.

But failing to set boundaries is not only draining, but can cause us to lose sight of our own needs. So here are 4 types of boundaries you need to make sure you’re setting:

Emotional boundaries – Not everyone has the right to know what’s really going on in your head. Nor do they have the right to ’emotionally dump’ on you either. Don’t be afraid to say that you’re confiding in Allah and don’t need to share your deeper thoughts with anyone else.

Time boundaries – Balancing family, faith, friends, community, and time for ourselves can be difficult. Things changed for me when I began to consider my cycle when scheduling my time. Set out your expectations early – for example, you don’t book social events just before or during your period. If the expectation is set, everyone knows where you stand.

Mental boundaries – You absolutely do not need to engage in conversations about opinions, viewpoints, or the latest controversy. You might be worried about not engaging in these conversations for fear that you ‘don’t know enough’. But just make it clear that you would prefer not to share your opinion on something you need time to study or reflect on.

Privacy boundaries – We all know what it’s like when the overly-inquisitive Auntie starts asking personal questions – marriage, family, babies – no subject is off-limits for her! It is absolutely okay to guard your privacy and politely say that you prefer to keep this sort of private information to yourself.

I know this is easier said than done, and it’s something I have certainly struggled with in the past. Difficulties in setting boundaries can often come from a place of people-pleasing – and this is something I speak to women about all the time. If it’s something you’d like support with, just reach out.